2006

 December: Shoot The Witness

I have quite a lot of questions from you guys, and answering them might take us right into next year!

The first is from David, who just got a name. He writes,

Dear Michael, I would like to know why my Mum’s name is Zafari.

That name means ‘union with the divine’, which could apply to anyone here as a possible goal, but why the name Zafari? Because Zafari has a certain sound, and the way that names are given in the Wild Goose Company is all to do with sound. When somebody’s Goose name is used there is a resonance inside that person, and as I was saying in one of my earlier talks, the most important things on this path are receptivity and resonance. Where is Zafari now?

Za – Fa – Ri.

You see? Three chakras immediately started to vibrate when I said those syllables. I gave Zafari this name because I felt that when it is said something in her which is capable of uniting with the divine begins to vibrate.

This brings me to the next question. It says,

For Daddy, from Madi.

I’m very glad to see that he’s already asking questions. When I was in Poona I was known as the Big Questioner. I was a bit older than him then, so it’s nice to know he’s already following in my footsteps.

How do you know the names you give people are the right names?

Well Madi, I don’t really know; I just hope!

What I do – which I’ve done with everybody here who’s got a name – is that I get into resonance with that person. I find a base line, then I wait for a third point to drop the name down between us. I don’t know the name of the angel that does this job, but if I go wrong it’s his fault! That’s my answer.

The next question is from Jamandi. He says,

Dear Michael. Is the Tao a joke?

Yes, Jamandi, it is a joke, but not as much of a joke as you!

The second question is from his wife, Samudra. She writes,

During one of the last sessions the thought popped into my mind that I should take care of the children. What is your comment on this?

My comment, Samudra, is that if you wait a moment or two the thought will pop out of your mind again. That’s how the mind is. Lets try this one, from Halaya.

I am probably the worst spiritual student on Mother Earth. I am always not present, not aware, and not in the here and now. I’m just a stupid sleepy bum. About practising and meditation: I think it is essential – almost vital – to get to the point of practising meditation to get in touch with and remember myself, in order to leave behind my enormous, huge, yet – at the same time – small, narrow and super-blind ego. Thank you. With so much love, Halaya.

Halaya is protesting about what I said regarding meditation. Yes Halaya, you are right. I think meditation is what is known as the ‘Royal Road’. Meditation can certainly lead you out of all of the things that you are hoping it will lead you out of, but there’s a lot of difference between the Path and the place where you arrive. When you arrive and look back it sometimes seems as if the path was not necessary, because the place the path leads to feels as if it was there all the time.

I have been talking about being in a meditative space. This is when you are simply at rest, without the machine, and without any feeling that you have to do anything; forgetting about the demands of life and the expectations of other people. This is the kind of space we explored briefly this morning. We were letting go – as far as we could – of everything that makes us not meditative, and falling into the space that exists when those things are not present. Even though we did it almost right away this morning – without any practice – I still had the feeling that a lot of you managed to explore that space.

When you want to reach a particular goal you may feel that a certain path can help you get there, but when you arrive you feel you could have simply taken one step, and you see that it’s always one step.

Halaya describes herself as being right at the end of the queue – that she’s never here, never present, always sleepy, and always dreaming – but through meditation she can get out of that and be in the here and now.

From my point of view – or from the point of view I was speaking from – Halaya is in the same position as someone that’s been meditating for twenty years yet still hasn’t quite reached the Source. That’s because it’s still just one step. It may be a slightly bigger step, but it’s still one step. Everybody is just one step away.

There’s a well-known poem I wrote in Poona which says, “People climb mountains because where the mountain ends the sky begins. The point is, at every place on the mountain the sky begins. All you have to do is jump.”

There are many stories of people who have only just begun the Path suddenly having a Satori, making a jump, and seeing everything as it is. Even though I sometimes say you don’t need to meditate, and that all you need to do is reach the meditative space and from there you don’t need to do any practice, I also sometimes say the opposite.

In the last newsletter I talked about the course that begins next month, the TOBAL – which is about tuning into the Tao. I said that many of my students who are very good with energy work should do this seminar, because it’s easy to ignore something in you that needs looking at. There’s a difference between ignoring what you find in yourself through meditation and transcending it.

There was a great Zen master called Hui Neng, who was the sixth patriarch. He was the guy who got the lineage even though he was just working in the kitchen. He never went to the master’s lectures, and the others asked him why. He answered, “All religious teachings are for the mind, and I have no mind so what use do they have for me?”

If you jump out of the mind then you don’t need to work your way through the mind, but if you just put the mind on one side and see if you can function in a clear space while the mind has still got a hold on you, then it’s important that you look at what’s going on.

Halaya, if after twenty odd years working with me you find that it’s important for you to practice meditation regularly, then I have a big ‘yes’ for that with you, and there’s no need to feel guilty.

What else have we got?

Dabola has written to me,

You told us at the Berlin group that you see that our lives somehow continue after death. What do you think of Gurdjieff’s idea that man only gets a soul that can survive death when he works on his consciousness?

Gurdjieff said that the purpose of life is to create of soul, and if you don’t succeed then you go to feed the moon, to keep it shining. But if you manage to make a soul you don’t have to do that.

If you go through life and don’t make contact with your Source, then your life is just like lines on water: it will be lost. It has made no impression on the essence of existence and has no depth, at least, not the kind of depth that reaches down into the essence. Nothing will come out of it except a small change in your karma, and this only results in slightly different patterns.

I was referring to the same principle when I talked about jumping off the mountain: If you don’t make progress on the mountain then the next time you just start at the beginning again, but to walk the mountain properly you have to know what it’s like to be off the mountain, because then each step has meaning.

When you’re working on yourself – as you guys are, here and elsewhere – you are making your life real. Before you make that step it’s all just opinions against opinions, belief systems against belief systems.

Muslims believe that they go to paradise if they do terrible, destructive things to themselves and others. They base their actions upon a book which was written sixteen-hundred years ago, and which is full of pure nonsense. It’s one of the most unpleasant books ever written, yet millions of people think that it’s the truth and they have to follow it. Such people are making no spiritual progress whatsoever, because it’s all in their heads. They believe the ideas and act out them, destroying themselves and other people in the process.

Maybe in five-thousand years time the Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist religions will all be history, and other religions will have taken their place. Where is the depth if something can come and go like that, and what was there before any of these religions came into being? Did the absence of religion mean that nobody got anywhere with their spiritual lives? What about Socrates? He wasn’t part of any of these religions, yet he was a man of deep wisdom.

It’s not that you don’t need religion, it’s just that you don’t need it if it’s a distraction. Religions get written down, then the mind reads them and acquires belief systems. What has any religion got to say about being in the moment, when you listen to the surroundings and make that the basis? Of course, Zen Buddhism has a lot to say about that, but Zen Buddhism is not a religion; it’s a collection of statements about simple reality. For me, it doesn’t include all reality, but still, it’s a statement about some parts of it. I’m not Zen Buddhist, but I do see its value.

All the other religions talk about ideas, belief systems, views, and perceptions, which makes the mind busy in an attempt to find the truth in it all. You can’t find the truth out of somebody else’s words. Somebody else’s words may trigger something truthful in you, but that’s resonance. If you read something and it makes you stop, then whatever value you’ve acquired will be because of a resonance in you, not because of any words you may have remembered from the book.

The way I see that one gets to the Source is through waves, falling down, and things happening from outside that carry you. I mentioned that perhaps the gods come in and create the necessary situations for you to do this – but that’s using the word ‘gods’ in a very lose way. The energies of old Zen masters – which is still here – can create the situations where you suddenly go, “A-ha!” If you read the words of such masters they can create a response in you which gives you a jump like that. It’s not something which comes from the mind, but a movement which happens within. You leave something you are attached to and fall into a new space. This is the opposite of what happens with people who read the Koran, learn it by heart, and quote it to each other, over and over again. These words – just words – have no value whatsoever. Much of what is said in the Koran is – for me – completely idiotic, but even the parts that are not are just words.

The way is within; to come out into the open and just stand, hearing and seeing with nothing influencing or distorting you whatsoever. This won’t come about through what he says, she says, or what I say, but might from the response to what he says, she says, or I say in you.

So, Dabola, to finish answering your question; I say no, not consciousness, but beyond consciousness. Consciousness is simply an expression of the Source, but it is not itself the Source, so please don’t get too fascinated with your consciousness.

What does Torii have to say?

Dear Michael, since I have started doing seminars and spiritual work I can see that many things have been helped to change in my life, but now more conflicts arise, and I don’t know how much my destiny lies in my own hands. Sometimes I have feelings of guilt when I see that I am functioning according to certain patterns. How much are the things in my life predestined? I don’t even know if there is such a thing as destiny.

Torii, these are very good questions; keep asking!

Satatra has asked,

What does ‘big circle’ mean to you?

It means a circle that is big. Now we’re getting somewhere!

Now, Marisha.

Sometimes when I’m sitting with my eyes closed in a session I feel I have moved into a contorted position, but my physical body has not changed. Please could you explain what is happening on an energetic level? Also, for the first time in my life, I had a blackout. It was during the standing phase of the SHEM meditation. I became very hot, uncomfortable, and physically irritable. I felt as if I could no longer stand up, but I stayed with this, then the next moment I found myself on the floor. I had no memory of falling and no pain from the fall, even though I was later told that I hit the window on the way down. Again, please could you explain what is happening on an energetic level when such things happen?

She asks, “What is happening on an energetic level?” What is happening is an energy happening, and everything is an energy happening. When you work with energy all sorts of things happen, and they have one thing in common: they are all energy happenings! Being born is an energy happening, dying is an energy happening, and everything in between is just a series of energy happenings. Just be thankful that when you fell down you got up again afterwards! Otherwise you would have had that other big energy happening called death. Compared to dying, these things are really quite small energy happenings!

I have another question from Marisha, though this one is shorter.

How can one be sure about the distinction between what you feel to be your own energy system, what the room feels like, and what is coming from other people?

You don’t have to be sure. Why would you have to? There are always other people and an environment around you. There’s no way you can ever be separate and then add the other things! You are trying to cut a cake which can’t be cut. Everything is always One.

You separate yourself out and call yourself ‘Marisha’, and the moment you do that you think, “What else is there apart from me?” Then you feel confused because there are other people and energies around, and when something happens you can’t be sure where it’s coming from.
That tree over there isn’t saying, “I’m very confused. Which bit is me, which is the Earth, and which is the lake? What belongs to me and what doesn’t belong to me?”

You cannot isolate yourself and say, “I feel depressed.” Why should you feel depressed? If there are no forces on you, and nobody is influencing you in any way, why should you feel depressed? You have no relationship that matters to you at all; you are just this person with two legs and two arms, and suddenly there is this depression. Where does it come from? Why should you feel depressed if you are isolated? You are depressed because all those things around you are not behaving properly towards you, or at least, your interpretation of what is happening all around you is not the way you would like it to be.

You are always in the midst of everything; there’s no need to separate yourself, sweetheart.

What else have we got?

Tarifa just writes,

Thank you.

You’re welcome, Tarifa, as always.

Now we’ve got the important questions. Dear, oh dear, oh dear!

Phillino – our Italian friend – writes to me in Italian. He says he wants to start a meditation centre, and wants to know how I feel about going there every two or three months to work with his people.

How many weeks does a year have? A thousand? My dear Phillino, if a year did have a thousand weekends then maybe I could squeeze in one or two. Let’s wait until you have a couple of hundred people in your meditation centre, and then ask me again.

I have five question left, and four of them are in German. This is my last one in English. It’s from Shamara.

Dear Michael. Since two-thousand-and-seven is such an important year – I have heard for you in particular – I wonder what to do to make the most of it? I ordered one of your special cards, and look forward to receiving it as much as I can, as well as the teaching that comes with it. What else can I do?

Two-thousand-and-seven is starting tomorrow, so we’ve got to be quick to decide! We only have half a day to figure out how to celebrate this fantastic year, one which is very important for us all, especially me!

I think it must be special for me because two-thousand-and-seven contains two and seven, and twenty-seven is my number. It’s very important that I respect and acknowledge that, so how are we really going make this year important?

First thing: lots of ice cream! Second thing: lots of good sex! Third thing: lots of warm weather. Fourth thing: lots of laughs. And somewhere down the list, if a few of you guys decide to get enlightened this year, then that would be nice!

Now we’ve got some German letters.

What’s the truth of relationships? Sometimes the mind says, ‘That’s not possible,’ or, ‘That’s not allowed,’ but the heart says, ‘This is my place in the moment.’ Is the truth that which we see because it happens, or is the truth that which we feel, because it’s just there? Is it at all possible to have a relationship, or is it just a game?

I guess the truth is whatever turns out to happen. There are truths, and there are truths. You have a truth that you are in love with somebody and you would like to be with them, but it doesn’t happen. Either they want to be with you, or the situation is such that they are already with somebody else, so you can’t be together.

Perhaps the truth is that you love somebody, you would like to be with them, and you feel absolutely perfect when you are with them, but the next day they say, “Goodbye!” So which is the truth? They are all truths. The reality is that you don’t see them anymore, but there may be a deeper truth than that. Perhaps you are a soul brother and sister, and even though you have to be separate – because the worldly situation doesn’t allow you to be together – there is another truth that you really belong together. But this deeper truth – that you belong together – does not demand that you actually are together physically. The energy link is still there, even if one is in Australia and the other is in Iceland – though if you have a choice, choose Australia! The situation could be this way, yet at the same time you feel, “That’s my woman,” or, “That’s my guy.” It’s true that you love him, that he’s not so much in love with you, that he is married, that you’re a long way apart and also that you are actually connected on a cosmic level for ever and ever! They’re all true! All these levels are happening simultaneously.

If you’re on the bottom level – where you are really connected and feel at one with somebody even though you’re not with them physically – then everything will be okay for you, but if you’re on the level where it’s really important that you’re physically together even though you can’t be, then it will not be okay for you. At all these levels there are different truths, and you are jumping up and down between them. On one level you’re in despair, on another you say, “Well, tough luck,” and on another you say, “Hooray! We’re joined forever!”

That’s how it works. Just enjoy each moment as it comes, and never mind about the final truth of it all.

Here’s another one in German from Kasika.

What meaning has an individual life? Does it matter one way or another whether a person is there or not? Is it important to live?

Absolutely. Everything fits perfectly, Kasika. If you are here everything fits perfectly, and if you’re not here everything fits perfectly, but you are here so everything fits perfectly with you. If you were not here when you should be then everything would be affected.

It’s important to see that your life is not just your life; as I’ve just been saying to Marisha, you are not an isolated being. If you were an isolated being and things got too bad then you might wonder if life was worth living, but since you’re not then anything can happen at any time.

It’s possible to go to bed one night and feel that there is nothing left for you, then get a letter the next morning saying you’ve won the lottery. We never know what’s going to happen next and we never know what is round the corner. This makes life so fascinating that it is just ridiculous to give it up. People who do that never get around the next corner because they think things will never get any better form them. They shut up shop, and then it’s difficult for something new to happen, but even so, things can.

I get letters from people telling me that they were in the depths of despair when suddenly – from nothing they did – everything completely changed. They got up and started dancing round the room, singing and laughing, yet they hadn’t done anything! They didn’t meditate, or try to change themselves in any way; they were simply accepting that this was the end and that they couldn’t get worse when everything just turned round and they thought, “My God, this is fantastic! Everything is perfect!” Something came in from somewhere else – possibly even somewhere else inside themselves that they didn’t know about.

At any moment there can be a transformation. These are not just words, we’ve experienced it in these days in this room. If you take your life and disappear – or you take somebody else’s life – then you’ve spoilt the whole picture, and you’ve removed the chance of a transformation happening.

I was telling you yesterday that I could feel everybody was connected, line by line; that there’s a line running through everybody which includes all. Sometimes I walk into a group – after the lunch break say – and I can tell immediately if there’s somebody missing, even if there’s seventy people in the group. I’m not sure who it is at first – we have to look – but I can tell there’s somebody missing. That’s how it is for me in the energy field – it’s as obvious as I hole in a sweater.

Kasika, you’re such an important person in my seminars. She comes to a lot of them and she always sits at the front, looking terrible, as if nothing is ever going to help her. She’s a total depressive! Everyday I get an email from her: “Dear Michael, today is even worse than ever,” yet I just love the woman! I just keep telling her how to love.

You’re very important to us all, and you’re good for me because you help me learn a lesson: to love somebody and get nothing back! You know how much I love you. From the first time we met – in an Easter group in East Germany – we fell in love with each other, and since then you’ve been really important to me. But you take no notice of my love, you just ignore it. All you do is write nasty letters to me. I have to learn how to overcome this, so you’re very important in my life, and I’m important in yours; that’s just a start. You’re an important person in the whole arrangement of things, part of the whole setup.

You have to see that it’s not just you; you’re part of a whole fabric of energy. You, and the people around you – friends, lovers, family and children – are part of it all. Do you think we’re not affected by you, that you’re not touching us all? If you were not here then we wouldn’t be touched like that; we need you to touch us in just this unique way. You’re precious; you’re a jewel.

Now I’m wondering what she’s going to write to me next week!

I have a kind of journalistic question now.

How long have you been working this way? How did it come about? How do you see your day?

Which day?

The question-asker: Every day.

Monday or Tuesday?

The question-asker: And Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

What do they look like? They look Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! Monday looks this way, Tuesday looks that way, Wednesday looks this way, Thursday looks that way, Friday looks this way, Saturday looks that way – because there’s football on – and Sunday looks this way. But then, if I’m doing a seminar, Monday looks this way, Tuesday looks that way, Wednesday looks this way, Thursday looks that way, Friday looks this way, Saturday looks that way, and Sunday looks this way. But then, if I’m on holiday, Monday looks this way, Tuesday looks that way, Wednesday looks this way, Thursday looks that way, Friday looks this way, Saturday looks that way, and Sunday looks this way.

What day is it today?

The last question. It’s from Tarasali.

Dear Michael, thank you from the depths of my heart. Slowly, it is arriving inside me that everything is One. I see that it is about self-acceptance, and that everything is in me. My co-players are helping me see this too; what fun. My question is this: Isn’t the watcher – or the witness – in the mind? Doesn’t the one that witnesses bring everything into the mind?

All spiritual traditions say you have to be aware.

“What’s the most important thing in the work Master?” “Be aware.” “What’s the second most important thing?” “Be aware.” “What’s the third most important thing?” “Be aware.”

It’s obvious that awareness is important; if you don’t know what’s going on then you are blind.

For example: Just imagine you were not aware, and you got enlightened. You would have got enlightened and you wouldn’t know! What a waste! You would have got this incredible prize – the greatest prize possible for a human being – and you wouldn’t know about it.

You can’t afford not to be aware, right the way along the line. If you lose your awareness when you are just a centimetre away from enlightenment, then the whole journey has been a waste of time.

A-ha! But, I have a little surprise for you. When you get enlightened, you are self-aware. You don’t have to practice awareness any more.

With the witness there is always two. It gets on your nerves, this thing saying, “Now I’m picking my nose. Now I’m scratching my bottom. Now I’m walking along.” All the time you are so aware of what’s going on, and as long as you are doing that there’s always a duality. You, and this predator that’s always watching. You can’t even hide behind a screen and do something wicked! It’s like they used to say when I was young: “God is watching everything you do.” With the witness it’s the same, and it’s terrible. We become our own gods, watching all the time. “That’s not so good. What about other people? You’re being inconsiderate. That’s very selfish of you. You’ve got to improve on that. You’re not breathing deeply enough. You’re not standing right. You’re not walking properly.” It’s all very disciplined.

Awareness teaches you how you are, and if you don’t know how you are then you won’t know the disease so you’re never going to find a cure. But there comes a moment when you shoot the witness. You just shoot him, and he goes up in a puff of smoke. Then you can say, “I’m perfectly aware of everything. I can see the trees, I’m breathing, and I can see movements here and there.” You can see everything, but you’re no longer practicing awareness. So Tarasali, the day will come when you can start celebrating because you won’t have to witness anymore, and you will be simply self-aware.

So that’s the name of this talk: ‘Shoot The Witness’.

Questions & Answers, Winter Festival, 31st December 2006